What to wear to a wedding as mother of the groom
As mother of the groom, and soon to be mother-in-law, your outfit should feel polished and celebratory while sitting comfortably alongside the bride's family in photos.
It is a role with a little more diplomacy built in. You are welcoming a new member into your family and meeting hers, often in front of a camera. The goal is to look like you belong in the family photos on both sides: coordinated, elegant and unmistakably yourself.
Here is the etiquette, what to wear for each type of wedding, and how to start with your own wardrobe before shopping. Dressing for the bride's side? Read what to wear as mother of the bride.
The etiquette
Wait for the bride's mother, then coordinate. Traditionally, the mother of the bride chooses her outfit first. Once she has, ask her (or the bride) about her colour and length. The aim is to complement each other in photos, not to match exactly and never to clash.
Ask the couple what they would like. A quick, warm question to the bride and your son about colours and formality goes a long way. It also shows you are on their team, which matters at the start of a new family relationship.
Colours to avoid:
- White, ivory, cream and champagne. Reserved for the bride.
- The same colour as the bride's mother. Pick a different shade in the same family, or a complementary colour.
- The bridesmaids' exact colour, so you are not mistaken for the bridal party.
- Red or anything very loud, unless the couple have asked for it. It can read as stealing focus.
Colours that work well: navy, cobalt, sage, olive, dusty blue, mauve, plum, dusty pink, teal, soft gold and rich jewel tones for evening. If the bride's mother is in blush, you might choose dusty blue or sage. If she is in navy, consider emerald or plum.
Match the formality of the bride's mother. You are both hosts in spirit. If she is in a floor-length gown, a cocktail dress will look underdressed beside her in photos.
When to start looking: about three to five months out, once you know what the bride's mother is wearing, with time left for alterations.
What to wear by type of wedding
| Wedding | What works | Pieces you may already own |
|---|---|---|
| Black tie or formal evening | Floor-length dress, or a tailored evening suit with a silk or beaded top | A long gown, velvet or satin wide-leg pants, an evening jacket |
| Church or ceremony then reception | Midi dress with a jacket or bolero, or a dress and coat set | A structured shift dress, a tailored jacket, a fine wrap |
| Garden or outdoor | Soft midi in a print or pastel, with block heels | A floral wrap dress, a linen jacket, low block heels |
| Beach or coastal | Lightweight midi or maxi in a breathable fabric, flat or wedge sandals | A maxi dress, a chiffon kimono, embellished sandals |
| Winery or country | Midi dress and tailored coat, or a pant suit, with ankle boots or stable heels | A wool coat, a jewel-toned dress, suede boots |
| Relaxed or registry | Smart dress, or a tailored suit with a statement blouse | A favourite work dress with jewellery and heels |
A tailored pant suit is a great choice if dresses are not your thing. In a soft colour with a silk top, it looks modern and confident next to the bride's family.
Practical tips for a long day
- Test it properly. Sit, stand, hug and climb stairs in the outfit at home. If it pulls or gapes, have it altered before the day.
- Wear shoes you can last in. Block heels, low heels or elegant flats work best on grass, gravel and dance floors. Pack flats for later.
- Bring a layer. Australian weddings often start warm and end cool. A wrap, jacket or cape in a complementary colour keeps you comfortable and still looks good in photos.
- Photograph-proof it. Solid colours and soft prints photograph well. Busy patterns and very shiny fabric can look harsh in direct sun.
- Go easy on the statement. One focal point, like a striking earring, a beautiful clutch or a hat or fascinator for a day wedding, is plenty.
- Coordinate the accessories, too. If both mothers are wearing gold jewellery or similar shoe tones, the family photos feel more pulled together.
- Pack a small kit. Tissues, blotting papers, a lipstick, plasters and a safety pin.
Start with what you already own
A dress you already love can look brand new with a different jacket, shoes and jewellery. Starting with your own wardrobe also makes it much easier to adjust once you know what the bride's mother is wearing.
If your wardrobe is in Modebase, ask ChatGPT or Claude:
I am the mother of the groom at an evening winery wedding. The bride's mother is wearing dusty blue. Show me three outfits from my wardrobe that complement her, and tell me if one new piece would finish the look.
It builds the looks from your real clothes and only suggests a purchase where there is a genuine gap.
